Guess whose back.  Back again.  Classic’s back.  Well you know where I am going with this.

I apologize for taking a break from blogging and Myspace.  I haven’t gone to anyone’s blog to read the last two weeks and I have ignored this thing.  Why?  I don’t really know.  Call it a sabbatical…minus me doing much except working, thinking and hanging out.  I will check all of your blogs tomorrow!  Anyway…

I can’t explain how much bullshit I have gone through in my life.  Horrible parents’  divorce.  Parents multiple remarriages.  Real family shunned.  Poor beginnings in a shit town.  Suicides.  Backstabbing friends.  Relationship problems.  Broken dreams.  The list goes on.  That is my life though; I never expect anyone to ever come to me and show pity or sympathy.  The fact is these events and hundreds of others shaped who I am.  Every day I make sure to be aware of my surroundings by looking and talking to people.  Today was just another life lesson learned…one that you can learn over and over.

Some of you may be aware I am a State Recruitment Specialist in Mental and Behavior Healthcare.  I find Doctors, Aides, Counselors and Nurses to work with kids and adults with developmental/mental/behavior issues.  Every day I am around the kids and adults, I count my blessings.  All of a sudden getting beat as a kid or a major car accident didn’t seem so bad from my past.  It’s a hard field to be in, but a very rewarding one.  I get to help the clients hands on, but I also get to help many people get jobs in a time of economic crisis.

Today I was at a job fair.  It was at the Shore Mall in South East Jersey; not a great place.  In fact at times I felt in danger.  People lined up to get in, as so many people are out of work.  They are willing to do anything at this point, but I am looking out for the clients and will only take people who truly do want to help. 

I was truly humbled.  So many people came up to me…desperate, disheartened and depressed.  Many of them were unkempt and disheveled.  I love my job, but there are times were I get very down.  I hate seeing so many people in bad situations.  And the stories they will tell me!  As a Recruiter I have learned so much about the “real” world because I come in contact with so many different people.  As different as everyone was today, they all had one thing in common:  unemployment.

Most of these people live in shacks, scrap for food and don’t enjoy all of the luxuries I have.  I am a big believer that I live my life…and only I can.  The mental scars and demons I carry are mine and mine alone.  No, I can’t imagine being in Africa with no food or shelter.  No, I can’t pretend I live in a shack with no job.  I have defended my stance against many people…I don’t say this with arrogance or bigotry.  I have my problems, and everyone else does as well.  Does that mean I don’t care about others?  Absolutely not.  But I think a lot of people need to remember…it is not a competition to see who has more problems.

I do my fair share to help anyone I can.  I don’t need credit or a pat on the back.  I do what I can because I know where I came from, what I went through and what I am today.  I keep things in perspective.  Today I was able to buy a slice of pizza, cheese fries and a soda.  I didn’t finish half of my fries.  The woman at the table next to me looked dirt poor, and I gave her those fries.  She could have been insulted that I would think she is poor and reject those fries…instead she saw a good person in front of her and gave me respect in return for the fries.  I walked off, didn’t look back or see if anyone smiled in my direction. 

That lady probably thought I was some rich kid with everything spoon fed to me.  She doesn’t need to know the mental hardship that was my childhood and teenage years.  All I cared about was her having a good meal and if she or anyone else wants to think I don’t know what problems are…that is fine.  Just don’t say it to me publicly.

I’ve had far too many people say to me “you don’t know what it was like…” and then go into a tangent about how hard their life is.  I usually cut them off and say “You’re right.  And you don’t know how hard my life is either.  And there is no reason to compare them since we can’t live each other’s life.”  This response, as you can imagine, gets a lot of eye rolling and sighs.

The problem is people take my response as if I am an arrogant prick.  I’m not…but someone that has real problems shouldn’t use that as an instrument to drum up pity.  All of us have problems.  If I fall in a puddle while walking up the stairs to work and a kid in India is starving…can we say that that kid has a worse day than me?  The immediate answer is “Yes” because in all fairness, it is correct.  However I am the one who tripped in the puddle and I am the one who felt that embarrassment.  My day is worse for me because I went through it.  Does that mean I can’t recognize that a starving child is much more important than me tripping?  I do recognize it.  I am just being aware of things called “time” and “perception.”

My point is I help a lot of people every day.  I can recognize the problems they have.  I realize the problems I have, had and will continue to have.  In this case my problems and your problems are like comparing rotten apples to rotten oranges; the two are both spoiled, but still very different.  I don’t need to be preached at about how you have it harder than me…I recognize some people have it much worse than me…but I cannot switch lives.  These are the cards I was dealt and as long as I do my part to help others, there is no reason I should be persecuted for having money or a job…I have my problems too.  So remember that next time you want to go on a preaching session about how hard your life is…a lot of other people may not seem like they have problems, but they do.  And your problems won’t go away if you brag about how bad your problems are.  Instead of comparing problems or debating who has a worse life, we should all be trying to help one another. 
11/7/2010 04:21:15 pm

The man who has made up his mind to win will never say "impossible".

11/28/2010 03:23:21 pm

Happiness depends on our attitudes to life

12/14/2010 02:32:32 pm

It really a useful idea.I will have a tiral of this idea as soon as possible as have already frustrated by them for a long time.Thank you very much for your continously post of effective tips.

12/26/2010 08:59:40 am

Nice!I learn a little bit more every week about what being a SAHD means.


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