Games.  I like games.  Games require rules, players and a board or setting.  Rules can be interpreted.  Game boards can change.  Players must do what they can to win.  This basic premise stands true from Monopoly to Freeze Tag to…relationships?!?!?!?!

Someone emailed me two very interesting conversations.  The first conversation in particular interested me the most, as it was two girls talking about “playing games” with men.  Should they or shouldn’t they?  Is the thrill of the chase worth the potential drama those goes along with “playing?”  Ladies is pimps too, go one brush them shoulders off!  Well that last part wasn’t in there, but you get where I am going.

Guys like to believe all girls are fake, gold digging bitches that are all out to play a fool.  This is a gross generalization that I never fully believed, but I do know that a few spoiled apples ruin a bunch.  Or something like that.

Did a guy ever stop and think why a girl would even REALLY play a game?  No, we are usually too dumb to sit there and break down a woman’s philosophy whilst standing in the local dive tavern.  Show me a great rack and my thoughts melt out my ear lobes.  So to get the chance to read a word document of a conversation between two girls on the subject truly interested me.  One was contemplating to make herself less available in order to drum up more of a chase from the male population.  They debated the Pros and Cons of this.  To say the least, I was fascinated at the thought that went into this decision.  We all think a girl just walks into the bar to get attention…but the truth is there could be more to it then meets the eye.

Playing mind games with guys are easy.  To me these games were like tests.  If I made the right move or said the right thing, I moved on to the next level.  If I failed miserably, I was more or less alone again that night.  These tests, when used correctly, may get that girl a guy who can say all the right things and make all the right moves.  It also may shun away a lot of genuine guys or naïve guys who have a good heart.  You can put me in that category.  Throughout High School and college when I was single…a lot of girls seemed to test me.  I pretty much failed every time.  Hence why I did not have a steady girlfriend until a month before I turned 21.  They tested me rather than try to get to know me. 

I’m mixed on the subject.  I am not a player.  I was a good guy who wanted love before lust.  I was invited over to a very attractive girl’s dorm sophomore year of college.  I didn’t know much about this girl.  She put the hint out that she wanted some that night.  I didn’t take it.  I could have lost my virginity that night, but I didn’t and I never saw that girl again.  We had 3 dates total and one was at a friggin’ pizza joint.  Could I have hit that and ran?  Yes.  But that was all it would have been.  And at that time I just could never bring myself to that.  All that girl wanted was a shot of Joe; there was nothing long term in her desire and she didn’t even put it out there fully!  It was like a head game every time I saw her.  She’d make you think she liked you and when you tried to do something, she kind of backed off.  Rinse and repeat.

There were a few incidents like that in my life.  Even when I was with my Ex!  Early in our relationship I was hesitant to be too forward because I got the scent that she was not a girl who I could touch all the time.  A few days later her best friend IMed me and let me know that I have to be more forward and touch her more.  I was a little shocked, but sure enough the next time we were on the couch…stuff happened. 

I don’t need a girl to say “Joe I like you, please remove my top” or “Joe, please ask me out.”  But I KNOW that I lost out on some relationships because of the head work involved.  I have even had some girls come to me later in life and say “Joe I really liked you, why didn’t you ever act on it.”  WHY??!?!?!  Because I didn’t even know!  That’s why! 

Does that mean that you girls should be easy?  No!  I get why you may want to get that chase going.  Put a guy to a test and see if he is worth it.  I had a girl tell me she plays games because it shows her how interested a guy is.  If it is too hard for him, he will leave immediately.  If he truly wants to get into a relationship he’ll play the games because the payoff will be worth it.  That may be true with some guys, but not all.  I’d play every game in the book for a night with Jennifer Love Hewitt.  But an experienced guy may play those games with you, hit it and walk away leaving you depressed. 

I always described these games as a vicious cycle.  Asshole guys break the hearts of sweet girls. Those sweet girls want to get even so they play games with innocent guys.  Those innocent guys get motivated and become ass hole guys.  And it goes on and on and on!  I lost out because I wasn’t an asshole guy and I was too naïve to play with savvy girls.  I never was able to have a one night stand or make out session with a girl because I either wouldn’t allow myself to or I missed an opportunity.  So many girls miss out on good guys because we don’t like to play games.  And so many innocent girls get their hearts broken when they try to play with idiot guys. 

The Verdict:  Be flirty, flaunt it a little and have fun.  There is no need to go overboard or play intense head games.  It may not be a bad idea to act coy at first to gage how a male approaches you.  I just don’t think you should play games.  I remember when I got this one girl’s number.  I waited a day to call and she didn’t answer.  So I left a message.  She called back, let it ring twice and didn’t leave a message.  So I called again.  It was like a damn crazy game of emotions!  And I know some girls do this on purpose.  They break you down and make you so paranoid.

With Michelle (my present girlfriend), it was so easy.  Although I will say I gave her my number and she was like, ummn here is mine and didn’t take mine!  LOL so even she played me some.  But the fact is after our first date I called her and asked to hang out again.  And we did that next day.  No games.  No hoops.  Nothing.  I wanted to hang out, she wanted to hang out…and we did.

In the end we should all be ourselves.  How many times have we lied or pretended in relationships only to see them fall apart, leaving nothing but regrets.  It’s ok to play hard to get to a point, but don’t let it destroy potential relationships. 

Keep it Classic folks.  <3  Keep those emails coming!  I love doing this stuff!

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